“It’s been a long time since a movie has left me speechless”, my roommate said as we walked out of the AMC movie theater.
She’s right. That’s exactly how I feel walking out of seeing Don’t Worry Darling. Do you want to know the first thing I said?
“I could write a thesis on that”. I’m not going to, don’t worry.
I wasn’t expecting much partly due to the bad press on the movie combined with my biased obsession over harry styles, and the trailer that didn’t give too mush insight into the movie, which I see why now. So when I gasped, and laughed, watched through my fingers, and jumped out of my seat, almost knocking the popcorn over, I was surprised.
Olive Wilde, as skeptic as I’ve been over her for the past couple of months for the drama tied to her production, she did good.
I won’t spoil it, but the movie is this utopian 1950s world, where they rely on routine, symmetry, and the classic, sought after delusional American dream. Down to the way the movie was filmed, the details of making breakfast, the pouring of the whiskey, the popping of the toaster, the sizzling of the bacon, the spinning of the records, the vintage cards backing out of the driveway, the sun shining just right in a cloudless sky. Perfection. But as we all know, perfection doesn’t exist, and with these movies there’s always a twist.
And this twist got me. The movie dives into the idea of control, into believing women, into the roles genders play in society. You stay home, I’ll go provide for us. But what happens when a man can’t do that anymore? What happens to his manhood? The expectations of society?
It’s a film that makes you question everything, question everyone, question everywhere.
“Are we in a simulation?” A joke people make that feels a little too real and after watching this. I think in a way, well maybe we are. Are we awake in our world? Are you aware of how you’re living? In what world you live in? Are you living the life you want? I think we forget how important questions are, and I think that’s how Wilde intended you to leave the theater: questioning.
Olivia Wilde said “pay attention and listen and don’t blink”, during the Q&A of the movie to address viewers waiting for it to begin. Everything about the movie, the drama with the cast, the kiss between Kroll and Styles, Pugh not showing up to conferences, and everything else leading up to it fit perfectly the message of the movie, which I’ll wait for you to put that together for yourself.
There’s an element of music in the movie as well. Florence Pugh hums a song she can’t get out of her head, but no one arounds her knows the song. Music is embedded in memory. Music is a part of people’s worlds. It’s different for everyone, but we’re all bound to know the same popular songs. It binds us together. It’s a portal to memories, to different realities.
Having just been to Joshua Tree and having just slept under the brightest stars while camping with no cellphone service, this movie woke me up to the world we live in just like that experience did.
I think where our generation gets confused with “life”, is trying to live this standard adult life that we were taught to see as “perfect” as a child, specifically as a young girl. Get married, buy a house, learn to roast a chicken, have kids, stay home, play it safe, pour the wine, ask no questions, kiss your husband goodbye with a freshly buttered-by-you piece of toast in his hand.
We try so hard to grow up. We try so hard to be the person we saw our future selves to when we were kids. But I think we forget to let go of what we expected. We forget to see life through a child’s lens. To see things for the first time, with fresh eyes, with no bias, with no preconceived notion of how things are supposed to be. Just to learn, to be excited, to be in awe of everything around us, to “never lose your childish enthusiasm”. That’s the point of life that we so often lose as we get older. And search for it in things that can control us if we let them: cults, alcohol, drugs, work, relationships, the good and the bad things. The things that can get toxic and chaotic in the blink of an eye. We seek order, but real life happens in the chaos.
such sweet things 